Two more, that's it.

I am in day 11 of my back issues.  Most everyday it gets a little bit better, to the point that I can't complain...some have far worse issues.  But there's two lessons worth mentioning. 

First, it's informative to see how people who have their own occasional back issues react very differently than those without.  If somebody has back problems, they look at me with a sense of concern and empathy.  "Oh, yeah, I know...awful...what can I do to help."  If somebody has not had back problems, the concern usually is (like my wife's), "You bent over?  And your back seized up?  I don't get it."  Exactly...you don't get it.  And their advice of 'go to a chiropractor!' or 'take a muscle relaxer' doesn't do much for me.

The second lesson, though, is more real.  Since this began, whether I was in my agony state or now just in my irritated state (and the painful and sore states in between), most every movement I take requires intentionality.  Will it hurt if I lean over this way?  How much will it hurt if I pick up that box?  Is it worth it to do this?   Will taking that step on my bus cause me a back spasm? 

How much I am paying attention to my actions is important, because in many other actions I think nothing at all.  Will this activity take time from my kids or my wife?  Will it lead me into sin?  Is this something that glorifies God?  In so many aspects of life we don't take time to really think about what our regular, routine actions are going to do.  And that can't really be good, can it?  Spiritual health is not just sinning and repenting; it is also about living the best kind of life, an intentional kind of existence in almost everything we do.  I should know this, after all...but so easily I forget, but I am thankful for the reminder (though I wish it wasn't so painful!)

An Apology

I stand corrected.  Trump IS the Cyrus that was to come.  Pardon me, I really didn't know what I was talking about.  You were right.  He is the man anointed by God lead us back into his righteous glory.  All praise Trump. 

I mean, how could I have not seen it?  I guess I was deluded by all those liberal media reports that told me that he is on his third wife, that he had all those mistresses that he gave money to in order to keep quiet (I mean, if they were real they would have asked for more than a few hundred grand out of his self-made billions, right?), that he used to go on Howard Stern and brag about his conquests or he would talk about entering contestants' locker rooms at his beauty pageants.  I mean, he wasn't leering at these young women or anything...he just wanted to let them know that he valued their femininity, that he wanted to empower women by encouraging them to express their talents. 

I'm glad that found that T-shirt recently that said loudly and proudly (with an eagle and a flag to boot!), "If Trump is not your president, then this is not your country!"  I mean, that settles it, right?  He won the election, and the libtards just can't stop crying about it.  Never mind that he lost the popular vote by millions...it was all them illegals that screwed things up, not the Russians who knew what was best for us.  The only thing I am disappointed in is that we still need to lock Hillary up because, emails! 

Yep, I've seen the light.  When I see all those Facebook pictures of Jesus surrounding Trump in the oval office, putting his loving hand upon his signature, I know it's right!  I know that my Lord and Savior salutes the flag as much as he loves the cross.  I know that he supports all our brave men and women in uniform, that he wants to destroy all of our enemies because we are surely God's people...it says it right there on our money, "in God We Trust"! 

What would Jesus do?  Little better than Trump if he was President!  I mean, letting loose the energy industry again, letting hard-working millionaires pay no taxes, completely de-regulating so many industries...that's all in the Bible when it talks about being Free!  I mean, the invisible hand of the economy is surely God's, isn't it?  Government should just get out of the way and let us all aspire to our best life now, a life in service of ourselves. 

I'm so grateful that we have a president who surely knows right from wrong.  Just like Jesus talking about Pharisees, Trump talks serious smack about anybody who isn't as America-first as he is!  When he made fun of that disabled lady, I really thought that maybe he'd crossed the line, but then I found out she was a reporter.  When he told his supporters to beat up people who booed him, he showed what being a True American is all about!  And heck, when he has college athletes in his office, the primest of prime specimens, he feeds the most American of foods:  fast!  I love his style. 

Such a good man, and I was so wrong.  Sorry, Mr. President. 

The UnMobile RV

I have a neighbor across the street who two years ago bought a large 5th wheel RV.  The idea was that he was going to do some travelling with his girlfriend.  He parked it in his driveway in anticipation of his great adventures. 

Two years later, the 5th wheel has moved once, and that for two days out into the street in front of his house, before it finally was moved back into the exact same position.  I am guessing that he had to get something out of his garage that he could not get otherwise. 

It's kind of a family joke to think about the 5th wheel never moving anywhere at all, but how often do we go through lives with great plans and then never act upon them?  Maybe there is a reason that in taking the letter 'v' out of 'lives' one ends up with 'lies': are our lives often just lies when we don't add something into them? 

Christians so often do the same thing.  We claim to follow Jesus Christ, and we claim to be filled with the Holy Spirit, and we claim to be following the Word of God.  Yet far too many Christians live lies rather than lives.  We are so filled with our own selfishness, so filled with the delusions of our everyday existence, that we never really live up to being what God wants us to be. 

Lord, make us people who do something with the lives you have given us.  May we be people who do not just make plans, only then to let them flounder; rather, help us to carry out what it is that you would have us to do.  Forgive us for the time we do nothing with this gift of life, but help us to know how we are forgiven by actively seeking out your goodness in everything we do.  In the name of Jesus we pray, Amen.

The election is...19 months away?

Hmmm.  Checked in on Facebook today for the first time in awhile and it appears that people are getting excited about the election that is still far, far, far in the distant future.  Either they are sticking with their boy Trump (judges! the economy!), or they are hashing through the 2-dozen different democratic candidates.  Can they win?  Are they female?  Are they good Americans?  Will they support the military?  And on and on and on...

Excuse me while I yawn.  I think that part of the brokenness of our system is the fact that so often we can do little more than talk and give money, and neither of those are really good ways to get good candidates.  Because consider my very real voting situation as regards to the presidentia election: 

-I live in a state that is not early in the primary system, so by the time the primary schedule gets to me most of the candidates are already long dead in the polls and have dropped out.  By the time I would cast my vote, the party candidates are basically decided on. 
-I am not a member of either major political party anymore, and I live in a state with a closed primary system, and so even if there was a close race and my vote might count, I can't really vote my preference anyway. 
-By the time we get to the general election, I live in one of the reddest of the red states.  A president could continually lie, be in legal trouble, be caught with various mistresses, be married three times with five children, and be filled with so many stupid things on his record that were he be of the other party he'd have been sunk long ago, and still win...in case you aren't following, that's the situation we find ourselves in and Trump will still win our electoral college votes without a doubt. 

So why do I get all riled up about a system in which I really do not have a genuine voice?  Why give my time and my frustration (and even my money!) to a cause that ultimately will fail?  I don't really believe in American electoral politics anymore.

But many people do, and my job over the next few months is to steer clear of them.  I don't need that in my life. 

Day Five, The End

This will be my last post on my navel-gazing (or lower back-gazing) posts about my back.  I promise this to future me, that I'll never have to read about this again.  I hope.

I drove my school bus for the first time this morning after being off the past two days.  It wasn't too terrible...I was more concerned about the pre-trip than anything, with all the moving around, looking under the bus, opening hatches, etc.  But that was managable.  The driving itself wasn't too horrible at first...but then there are my terrible bumpy roads.  When it was totally washboardy, it really wasn't bad because I used my left foot on the floor to brace for the vibrations that would shoot through my back.  It was the uneven bumps, both in town and out in the country, though, that really started to give me problems, to the point that by the end I was getting really tired and sore. 

I worried they might have to scrape me out of the drivers' seat with a spatula, but getting up and moving about was not too much of a problem.  I finally staggered back into the bus barn, relieved that I got through it and was able to get all the kids to school safely.  That's the most important thing...I was actually a few minutes late getting back because I took it more easily (not to mention the train stopping as I entered town), but that was OK.  Tonight should be better as the route is a bit shorter and should be quicker as well without quite as many students. 

In a way, today was a test.  If I can get through these things, then I'll be OK eventually.  I should probably go back and lay down for awhile before the afternoon route, but I'm just that the Lord got my through today. 

Day Four

It's amazing how something as a few muscle spasms can control your entire life.  I'm on my fourth day of this, and it controls almost everything that I do.  Either I am a complete wuss, or I am learning that when people have problems that are chronic, I need to be much more sympathetic.  Probably a combination of both.

I think I figured out the whole bowel thing...why am I having to poop little poops all the time?  I have been putting icey hot on my lower back, a menthol cream that helps to relax the muscles somewhat.  But I think it is also having the effect of loosening the bowels that are right past the skin and outward muscles.  If the skin and muscles (thin as they are, I need to get stronger there!) are loosening, then instead of my lower digestive/waste track building stuff up and then holding tight for one good poop in a day, then it's being loose and relaxed and shooting stuff through at a much faster rate, thus necessitating that I poop 4-6 times a day. 

I went by and talked to my bus supervisors this morning and they were awesome about my condition, but I will try and get back to driving tomorrow.  We have several other drivers with constant issues who gut it out and drive almost everyday...can I not do the same?  They didn't say that, I did...but I know that I am important enough out there that they need me to come back.  So in a bit I will crawl back into bed for most of the rest of the day, and hopefully my back will continue to heal. 

I am also trying to get some office work done for sermons, because Bible classes and sermons still come around every week.  I have no idea whether any of the work I am doing right now is really good, but it is getting done, and that's 90% of the job at this point.  May God forgive me for some of the junk I am probably getting out of my studies.  His word is perfect...my studies of it are not, affected as they are by the condition of my earthly vessel. 

If Saturday was excruciating, and Sunday was painful, and yesterday was agonizing turning into painful, then today is just painful with a tendency towards uncomfortable.  I suppose this is progress? 

Day Three

Today the kids had the day off from school for an inservice day, but my daughter was having a track meet and I was going to be one of the drivers.  But it became very apparent after getting up that I was in no condition to drive.  Yesterday I must have pushed it a little bit too hard, because the spasms of Saturday started to kick in throughout the morning, so I called my supervisor and told her that I couldn't do it...it just was not safe for me to drive.  I also told her that tomrrow morning she had better find somebody as well. 

I did try going to the office, but that was too much for me and so I came home within an hour.  By late morning the spasms were getting worse, and so after lunch I deicided to crawl back into bed, where I've been for much of the rest of the day, except for when I've had to get up and pee and poop.  Oh, about that...the spasms also have the effect of loosening my bowels, and I've had to sit on the toilet 5 times today.  Even if just tiny poops come out, they still have to come out.  This just keeps getting better and better. 

I really don't get too excited about old age...when I see myself in the mirror walking like an old person, I wonder about them: do they walk like that just because they are slow, or because their backs are in constant torment?  I gave my wife permission the other night to smother me if I ever get to the point that I never get better someday when I get old. 

Maybe tomorrow I"ll go back to just being sore...I can live with that.

Day Two

If yesterday was excruciating, today has been merely painful with a few smatterings of agony.  At 4:30pm yesterday I had called one of our members and told him to be ready, that I might not be able to preach today.  Most of the day yesterday was spent in various positions of desperation upon the bed or on the couch.  At one point my wife was outside and I needed to pee, and as I was making the 15 foot shuffle between bed and bathroom, the spasms of pain brought me to my knees and eventually flat upon the floor.  Eventually, with some help, I was finally able to make it to the bathroom.  Last night I slept not too terribly bad, most of the night on my back (I'm usually a side sleeper), but got up at 3:30 to pee and needed help getting there. 

Upon getting up at 7, I stretched my legs and back in bed as well as I could do for 20 minutes, before finally getting up.  The first 20 minutes up were not fun at all, but after a hot shower I felt pretty good and decided that today I would preach.  I managed to make it through the service with only a few spasms of pain, though by the time I got home this afternoon I thought it was time to sit in a hard chair for awhile. 

Tomorrow I am driving a track trip for my daughter's school team...I am guessing that by tomorrow we will be somewhere between the painful and the annoying level, which means that I can probably go.  It is not the best thing for my back, but somehow I'll muddle through this. 

It hit me this as I was preaching today that my sermon was about what I had been experiencing.  In Luke 8:22-25 the disciples are going through a terrible storm, thinking they will die, and Jesus calms things with a rebuke and he turns and says to them, 'Where is your faith?'  Indeed, where was my faith in all these things?  Yes, I know that times it's painful and even agonizing, but do I keep my trust in all these things?  Today we saw another horrific event, the bombing of churches and hundreds killed in Sri Lanka, on the other side of the planet...do we continue to keep faith? 

I am grateful that my back issues are not chronic.  I especially feel for those who suffer with these things on a daily basis; going through these things makes me much more sympathetic towards those think they need medicinal marijuana and those who fall victime to opiods.  I choose not to take anything much stronger than aleve, but would I if this was something that lasted more than a few days?  Would I become that desperate? 

Thankfully, the Lord is providing for me in these painful moments.  But do I have faith to endure? 

Another View of Hell

Yesterday our family went on a crystal digging expedition and as the dad I did a lot of the digging.  Today I woke up and was a bit sore...but when I went to lean over outside my back seized up.  I came back into the house and stumbled back into bed.  My wife put some icyhot on me, and I took some advil, and then an hour later I needed to poop.  My wife was gone to the store so I had no help getting out of bed...10 excruciating minutes later, I made it to the toilet but some poop (of one of the biggest poops of my life, BTW) ended up in my underwear.  The mess I made in my rear end needed a shower...which took another 10 excruciating minutes to finally begin.  I got through the shower (hot water on my back helped) and then got out and took some alleve, which I should have taken to begin with, and now though I feel lousy I can at least move around without wanting to fall on the floor and roll up into a ball and cry. 

A few years ago I had an experience in which I had a stomach flu hit me in the middle of the night and had awful things coming out from multiple orifices.  At the time I thought that was hell, and maybe this has been in that same category.  When you are writhing in pain in your bathroom, covered with feces, knowing that every movement you make is going to be worse than the one before, isn't that a scene of what hell might look like?  I only had the worst of this for a few hours...can you imagine eternity like this? 

I am hoping that my alleve will hold me through the afternoon, and that maybe some more stretching will be helpful.  Tomorrow is Easter, where we proclaim the good news of the resurrection, the hope and the peace that comes out of chaos.  Well, I need to believe this truth, that God is going to restore and redeem me in the worst moments of my physical life. 

The Japanese Sex Recession

While scanning through the BBC news homepage I came across this video about how young people in Japan are giving up sex entirely.  I have never been to Japan, but it appears that in many ways that country is just as western in many of its core sexual values. 

I find it interesting that there is a fascination with these people, thinking of them as so strange, who are giving up sex.  They're not giving up family, and they know that sex is needed to create children...but in a way they are at the other extreme with our modern sexual obsession and so seem so unusual by those who have commonly accepted western sexual values. 

But that there is such an extreme divide shows us that this seems like this is how things often are...we have generally become obsessed with all things sexual in western culture (and thus, no kind of sex, as long as it is consensual, is viewed as wrong).  So it should not be surprised that many people have gone to another extreme and simply abandoned it. 

There will come a day, I suppose, when the BBC will look at us who are married and monogamous and think us just as strange as those who have given sex up entirely.  Will we seem as strange to our modern culture? 

The Good Place

My current favorite binge watch is The Good Place, with Ted Danson, Kristen Bell, and a bunch of other people I don't know.  It's wonderful, and somewhere in it there is a sermon series.  The premise of this episode is that Kristen Bell wakes up across from Ted Danson, wondering where she is.  He tells her that she is in the good place...all the good deeds she has done through her life has gotten her to be where she is, and she is placed in a neighborhood of 322 people where they can spend their eternity.  As the show goes on (spoiler alert!) we find that she was actually a terrible person, and other people she is with are not nearly as good as we think they are, and eventually at the end of season one we find that their existence is all part of a cruel experiment in which they are really in a version of The Bad Place, torturing one another. 

Of course, I really do love shows that speak about greater things, even if they are wrong.  In watching them it makes me think about what it is that I believe.  One of my favorite scenes is in the pilot, in which Ted Danson explains what it takes to get to that good place: 

Ultimately it's all a lie, since in fact these are people in the bad place, but I found that the expression of this was so similar to how many people think about heaven and hell, right and wrong, that I think it's a great teaching tool. 

I've still got a few seasons to go through, and know that there is more to come...but I am so glad to have come across this show. 

The Empty Building

Today there was a very sad story, the burning of the Cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris, one of the most famous cathedrals in the world.  I've never been there, though I've read the Hunchback of Notre Dame, which isn't so much about football as an oddly shaped man who rings bells in a church buildng. 

Many of the stories I have read have focused on the outpouring of grief at the loss of this building.  People prayed and wept and sang hymns as the fire raged throughout the evening.  While France is mostly a secular nation at this point, it was perhaps comforting to see some semblence of religious feeling for this nation. 

However, and I don't mean to sound too hard hearted, I have always believed that the church was much more than a building and much more than a heritage.  The church is a living people, a group of people who are dedicated to Christ.  If tradition is the living faith of Christians, and traditionalism is the dead faith of the past, what does that say about a building that long ago turned into a symbol of western Europe's religious past but had little to nothing to offer in the present? 

Of course, it could be worse.  They could have followed our Dear Leader's advice and flown over the fire with enormous water tankers. 

One Cup Debate Returneth (in a 60 page pamphlet!)

I don't think I would survived Churches of Christ in the 1950s.  Endless debates about whether church members could support orphan's homes, Christian colleges, or have pianos in a house would have driven me to Red China.  I'm grateful that we aren't that so divisive today, though I wonder whether or not we have much of a pulse at all.  Is it better to endless bicker about something peripheral or talk about nothing at all? 

I thought about this as I looked through our church mail today.  In our mailbox was a 60 page booklet that appears to be part of the surprisingly still active debate about whether or not churches can use multiple cups in the Lord's Supper.  And it's not out of nowhere, it seems...it's a response to somebody else's pamphlet on the same thing.  Do I know which side this new mailing is on?  Was I at all familiar with the initial debate that led to the initial pamphlet?  Not really.  But here, on the very edge of the Bible belt several states away from the author, we get to be drawn into this debate.  The cost of mailing what must have been thousands of pamphlets to thousands of churches was probably enough to furnish a reasonable size soup kitchen for week, but hey, what's more important?  Continuing to debate issues to an apathetic audience that hasn't cared about this issue for half a century?  Sign me up!

Funny thing is, I actually probably have sympathy for the one-cup argument.  I think there's a lot more Biblical foundation for this position than there is for defending the absoluteness of acappella music, and there's a lot more Bibilcal foundation for this position than there is for paying located preachers.  But are any of these things core gospel issues?  Absolutely not. 

And I will probably take some time over the next few weeks to read this pamphlet.  Maybe I'll learn something.  Probably not...it will soon end up in the recycle bin, but I'd like to think that I'm kinda open minded. 

Guy Hits A Pole...

This morning a little after 2am our power went out.  Not just our house, but the entire town went pitch black.  Eventually it was found out that somebody hit a power pole north of town and that put about 6000 people in the dark.  Power was not fully restored until after 9am this morning, which meant that school and my wife's daycare and many other places were closed today.  I went up to the bus barn not knowing school had been cancelled yet, but quickly came home and went back to bed.  I was tired. 

Before I left, though, I decided to go on my routine morning walk.  The sky was clear and cold, and the near-toal blackness around me meant that I saw the stars a lot better than I've seen in a long time.  A few car lights and some solar outdoor fictures kept things from being totally dark (as well as the fact that the first glimmers of light were less than an hour away), but it was tremendous.  I walked about a block before realizing that my black jacket and hoodie probably meant that I looked like a burglar on the prowl and so I came back, but it was still a sight to behold. 

Of course, people on the community page on Facebook went nuts...why won't the city fix it now?  Um, it takes time to fix these things.  Why does school have to close?  No heat.  No ability for kitchens to operate.  You really want 2000 unruly kids in the dark without power?  The stupid jerk who hit the pole caused me problems!  Fortunately, he was not seriously injured, but hey, sorry that you were running a bit late and couldn't stop by to get your coffee.  Really, that's almost terrible as almost dying. 

Being without power for 7 hours reminded me of two things:  1)That if something truly terrible ever happens, half of us will be dead in 24 hours because some people will go crazy.  I'm guessing the Trumpites are prepared to purge the rest of us, but I'm OK with that.  I don't really want to keep living in a post-apocalyptic world.  The preppers can have it, I have a better home awaiting.  2)We should be so thankful for all our blessings.  It got all the way down to 63 degrees in my house last night!  We were slightly chilly, as were other families...but what did people do before central heat and electricity?  Somehow they survived.  Not having wi-fi meant that my kids (who went back to bed and stayed asleep through most of it) didn't get up and immediately turn to YouTube or videogames.  That's a good thing, right?  Electricity and modern conveniences we take for granted, and they can often be good...but not living without them for a whole seven hours meant that we can see how unnecessary some of them are.  I saw a beautiful starry sky.  No blinking LED lights were there to obscure the darkness.  No ability to turn on a blinding light for eight seconds to find my fitbit meant that I had to reach for it, using other senses. 

The chaos of 4/12/19 is now in the past, and we survived.

A Psalm of Lament: April 11, 2019

I am tired. 
I am tired of helping my daughter with math homework every night and then watch her not understand how to convert a percentage to a decimal. 
I am tired of my son playing video games all the time and then acting offended if we tell him to get off.
I am tired of kids on my school bus who will not sit down. 
I am tired of people defending a President and a political administration who daily lies, cheats, misleads, and ultimately does all these things to boost the interests of the rich at the expense of those in need. 
I am tired of men who think that having five kids with three women shows how much of a 'man' they are. 
I am tired of women who think that true love means letting a man treat them badly. 
I am tired of dysfunctional families in which generation after generation of bad choices never seems to get any better. 
I am tired of people never taking responsibility for their failures.
I am tired of people who think that their bad relationships are always the fault of somebody else. 
I am tired of weather that goes from warm to cold to warm in less time than it takes to use up a tank of gas. 
I am tired of preaching the gospel and listening to people say 'good sermon' and then continue doing the same stupid things again and again. 
I am tired of living in a country which says they believe in one nation under God but then by their lives live as Me-ists. 
I am tired of getting up at 5am each morning to haul other people's kids to school and not getting a chance to say hello to my own. 
I am tired of superhero movies, zombie TV shows, and reality TV shows that have nothing to do with reality. 
I am tired of how this world has given up on any pretense of righteousness. 
I am tired of the loneliness that I feel. 
But Lord, let me trust you.  Let me recognize how good you are.  Let me take my stand on you, no matter tired I am.  You will refresh me, you will show me your love, you will strengthen me to do your will.  Thank you, Lord. 

Me-ism

It's not Islam that is the danger to Christianity in the United States.  It's not Buddhism, or atheism, or agnosticism.  Me-ism is the greatest threat to the Christian faith in the 21st century. 

Me-ism holds to three absolutes. 
-1)Follow your heart.  The heart knows what it wants, and anything is acceptable if it makes me happy.  Sure, it sucks if other people get hurt, or even if I do something 'wrong' in the eyes of moralists.  But I deserve happiness, and I'll get it. 
-2)Don't judge me.  Who are you to tell me what's wrong and wrong?  I'll do what I want, and you do what you want, and only if our own desires conflict is there a problem.  And if that happens, then, step aside.  Get out of me.  And I'll do the same for you, if it's convenient for me. 
-3)The only deity worth mentioning is my own me-ity.  There is no higher judge to my life than me.  I answer to me, and nobody else.  I am the center of this universe.  I determine my destiny. 

Me-ists are found everywhere today.  They are found in churches, in schools, in almost every family alive.  Few would describe themselves as this way, but by their fruits you know them.  They are winning the culture war, and God help us all if they continue to prevail. 

Track Meet

I am writing from my daughter's first middle school track meet.  It's 75 degrees and sunny and hardly any wind...a perfect day for a track meet.  It's the first meet she is in, and she is running the 1600 meter and then an hour or two later the 800 meter.  That's a lot of running for her first meet.  Saturday I went over to the track with her and I walked while she ran.  At one point I decided to run with her after she had run 4-5 laps, and she took off.  I ran about a half a lap with her and then I was done...I don't know if it was fat old me, or young fast her, but it made me feel a lot better about how she might do today. 

In the end, I don't really care whether she wins or loses, I just want her to have fun and do her best.  I think she will be fine, really, but the dad within me thinks...GO...you can do this!  As parents we get older and fatter and at some point we decide to realize that we are not going to do much more athletically and we hand things off to our kids.  So we vicariously live and die with them.  We scream at officials, we celebrate their victories, and some day we pay off admissions officers at universities to ensure they get into a good college. 

This is why when somebody asks me now what my favorite team is, I no longer say the Royals or Sporting KC or the Chiefs.  It's whatever team my kids happen to be playing on.  The older I get I don't understand why people get so crazy about rooting for laundry.  Celebrate who you know and enjoy the rest. 

A New Declaration of Independence

I have just begun reading Sen. Ben Sasse' book called 'Them', which seeks to bridge the divide of hate that has come into our nation.  It's a subject that fascinates me: I see middle-aged white guys driving around with giant TRUMP flags in the back of their oversized pickup trucks...I see Facebook friends who do nothing but post anti-_____ (your choice of politician) screeds and memes on their home page...I overhear people sitting around and moaning and bitching about things that have no effect on their real lives and usually doing so without any comprehension of the facts. 

I'm only a chapter into the book, but Sen. Sasse seems to be going in a direction that I think is more of a symptom rather than the core of the problem: it's that technology, rather than uniting humanity, is tearing it apart.  We have virtual friends rather than real friends.  I think he's onto something, though it's something that has seemed obvious to me for awhile; we are 'alone together', in that you will see a group of people sitting around, all looking at their phones, even as they are 'together'. 

While he's right that this is a problem, I think a greater problem revolves around how we have allowed ourselves to listen to the voices that convince us that the other side is demonic.  In other words, mainstream politics in 2019.  When we become convinced that the problem is all on the the side of the 'other', the 'them' in Sen. Sasse' book, that becomes the problem.  And the very features of our modern 'democracy' makes this almost impossible to overcome.  For instance, in our past presidential election, we have inarguably the two very worst candidates of my lifetime.  Hillary Clinton was tainted by three decades of the Clinton machine, and Donald Trump was (and is) an ignorant bully who has been just as bad as many of us expected he would be.  You'd think that this would have inspired a real and viable thirty party challenge...but nothing materialized.  Johnson/Weld, both former governors (and the ones I voted for) gathered less than 5% of the electorate and never had a chance.  Even as we knew that the two main choices were awful, almost nobody was willing to think more independently...we were stuck within a paradigm where things had to be blue or red, no matter how messed up blue or red had become. 

Until we become convinced that the other side is not nearly as demonic as we have made them out to be, I don't know that there is much hope on this subject.  I have respect for Sen. Sasse facing this issue, but he has willingly aligned himself with a party and an ideology that is a very real part of the problem.  He is of the same clan that aligns himself with President Trump, and while occasionally he will speak against Mr. Trump's ways, he almost always votes for his policies.  Would he (and those on the political left, who in two years will probably be just as bad when they have hopefully swept Trump into the dustbin of history) better off staying in and working for change from the inside (which I hope he's doing?)  Or would he be better off taking a stand, to 'come out from them', to willingly renounce the world that they have created?

Here's what I want to see: a new 'Declaration of Independence'...not independence from people, not from civilized discourse, not even from conscience...but rather an independence from hatred, from bullying, from idelogical crystalization, from party over country, from tribalism over decency.  Here is the new declaration for those who would wish to be our leaders.
-We the people of the United States of America, in order to form a more perfect union, recognize the we have been our own worst enemy.  We have pointed fingers when our own sins were the problem. We have blamed others for our own faults when we should have seen that we, too, cause disunion and disorder.
-We renounce political tribalism.  When we see our leaders and our mouthpieces speak blatant lies, we will call them out.  When we see our leaders and our mouthpieces promote legislation and executive orders that are filled with self-interest, we will ask hard questions.  When we see our leaders and our mouthpieces mock opponents without regard to open and honest discussions of the real issues, we will become the voice of reason.  
-We will stop feeding the monster that promotes discord.  We will turn off our Twitter and our Facebook accounts and spend more time talking to our neighbors.  We will stop appearing on Fox News and MSNBC and CNN where we speak to only people who are looking for red meat and instead appear before our constituents to answer for our actions and our votes like the public servants that we are.  We will house our Congressional offices between others who do not hold to our ideologies, and we will regularly visit them and invite them to visit us.  We will stop gerrymandering districts in order to narrow democracy and instead strive to create an election process in which 90% of the races are not pre-determined in their results.  
-We know that change will not take place overnight, and we know that far too many of our colleagues are too embedded and dependent upon a system that rewards evil.  But we will never cease from our attempts at change, and forever seek a nation that truly lives under God, with all that means.  

This will never go anywhere, of course...and they are the ramblings of a single person sitting at his kitchen table on a Saturday morning rather than the product of a community of like-minded individuals as they ought to be.  But they are a start for me, though...and when I am King and Dictator over this once-great nation, I'll do my best to hold to their principles. 

Thick Skin

One of my fellow bus drivers the other day came close to walking off the job.  The kids on his bus were giving him such fits that he had to switch with another driver and they drove each other's routes.  He's a nice guy, but I wonder if he is going to be doing this job much longer. 

Do any kind of job with kids, and you have to be thick skinned.  Kids of a certain age can be sweet, exhausting, cruel, kind, mean, annoying, helpful, and hilarious all in the amount of time that it takes you to tie your shoes.  They're kids.  They have brains that are not fully formed as of yet, and since many in this day and age are coming from homes in which they are not being nurtured or disciplined or parented with any kind of consistency it's not suprising that many of them are jerks. 

I'd like to think that I've developed a bit more tolerance in the 2+ years that I've been driving.  This isn't to say that I don't dream at times of taking certain kids and throwing them off of the river bridge that we cross over every day.  But I believe that most of us who deal with kids are in some small way enduring karma for the way that we acted when we were kids. 

I was not a terrible kid, I guess, but I could be a bit of a bully and truly obnixious if I thought it deserved my obnoxion.  When my two children today act up I don't like it but I see a lot of myself in them, and I see how I act with a lot of the same frustrations that my parents existed with me and my siblings.  And so, maybe this makes me more charitable as I get a bit older.  At least that's what I'd like to think about myself. 

Angry White Male Studies

Story of the day: the University of Kansas has decided to offer a course called 'Angry White Male Studies'.  And predictably, people are ticked off.  My dear congressman Ron Estes, a stuffed shirt white male if ever there was one, took to twitter to complain about how this is divisive. 

On the one hand, I get the point...change the title of this class to 'Angry Black Female Studies' and the thought police would go nuts.  Change the title of this class to 'Angry Gay Latino Studies' and there would be a riot on the campus.  But angry white males?  Yeah, let's go after them and laugh at them.  So I get it...white male privilege is low-hanging fruit, the last bastion of outrage for many of a certain ideological persuasion. 

But isn't the fact that old white guys like Ron Estes get ticked off about this the point of the class?  These are the people who have lived in power and privilege for, I suppose, forever.  These are the people who had a solid 200 year run being president of this fine nation and then for eight years screamed how they were going to 'TAKE OUR COUNTRY BACK'.  And these make up much of the 38% of people today who continue to accept without question the unacceptable from our nimrod president and his nimrod advisors.  They live in power and feel powerless.  They have much of the wealth (often built on the backs of others) and scream how unfair life is.  They moan about 'entitlements' that the government provides but are the most entitled of all. 

My guess is that the University of Kansas is eventually going to back down, but it's going to eventually be a good story for the professor (a white male, BTW) who proposed this class.  I suspect a book deal and a few segments on MSNBC and a new job at an eastern university is on the horizon. 

Royals Madness

The new season of Major League baseball has begun, and once again the Royals are still considered major league.  That's surprising considering last year's team lost 104 games even though they played a number of young players who might have great potential.  If MLB were most soccer leagues around the world, they would have been relegated to AAA and some other team would have taken their place...this only two seasons after winning the World Series.  It's a quick trip from the penthouse to the outhouse, as the old saying goes. 

So the Royals are five games into the season, and so far the starting pitching has been solid, the team has scored a few runs, and a few young players are playing well.  BUT...the bullpen stinks again, today giving up a 6-3 lead to the almost as bad Twins.  I was out driving my route and saw that they had been tied 6-6 before I got back and saw that they had lost the game.  Oh well, we'll always have 2015.  But wouldn't it be nice if we could be at least more than terrible more than once every 30 years? 

I am not nearly as big a sports fan I used to be.  I don't have cable TV and don't have time to live and die with my teams as much as I do.  But I do like to casually drop in once in awhile, and hopefully this year we might even get to a game.  And if we do, I hope that I'm not wanting to put my head through a wall when another terrible reliever comes into the game.  Is that too much to ask? 

Are Mermaids Real?

On my school bus today two of my first graders got into an argument about whether or not mermaids are real.  The girl had a book called "Are Mermaids Real?  (I Want To Know!)".  The Goodreads page for this indicates that this is a 'narrative text' that offers 'possible scientific explanations for the myths'.  She also insisted that when she had gone to the seashore that she saw one, she really did!  A boy, however, decided that this was all hogwash, and claimed that they don't exist, and even though he loves this little girl and tells her almost everyday that he loves her (and do you love me too?), that no way do mermaids exist. 

Of course I got asked what I thought, and I told the boy that if he doesn't want to believe, then he doesn't have to believe, and I told the girl that if you want them to exist, they are very real.  It was a craptacular answer, really, and even now I wish I had gotten into a better discussion with them about how you determine what is real and what is not, and the power of belief and myth and so forth.  But then I think, they are in first grade, why can't I just let them enjoy their little love spat.

It's hard to know how to answer anybody these days, in this time in which people generally believe whatever it is that they want to believe.  Believe in UFOs?  Trump?  Unicorns?  Goody for you!  For all the power of the information age, I am convinced that people are more ignorant than they ever have been.  There's no shortage of books that offer 'possible scientific explanations' for anything, but the explosion of narrative texts means that people now can find support for whatever it is they want to believe.  Not to mention the dozens of channels on TV that cater to whatever fringe idea somebody has, or the internet and its various forms of conspiracy theories and whackjob ideologies.  The information superhighway of the 21st century leads far too many people off of a cliff. 

Fortunately, the Goodreads page of this author who specializes in works for young children has many other works that are of a more serious nature.  And it appears that her knowledge base is as wide as anybody in this age...she has written on Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge (current events(; The Grassland Biome (science!); Counting Coins and Bills (economics), and whether or not King Arthur was real (history).  Oh, and don't forget her books about aliens, unicorns, and countless other creatures of the universe. 

I'm glad that my first graders have such an outstanding base of knowledge to work with. 

School pictures in an era of narcissism.

As I recall, when I was in school we had pictures done once a year.  We would have a big class picture (through elementary school), and then a single individual picture. 

My kids, however, in a period of photography being everywhere via digital cameras on cell phones, have pictures seemingly taken a dozen times a year.  Fall pictures.  Fall reshoots.  Spring pictures.  Spring reshoots.  Yearbook pictures for clubs.  Yearbook pictures for sports.  Lifetouch individual pictures, also for sports.  It never stops...we spend half the school year getting pictures made. 

Is it any wonder that children today are completely and totally narcissistic?  From the time they were born we were pushing cameras in their face.  We wallpaper our living rooms with the endless official portraits of whatever year it was.  We give them specially designed phones that allow them to take selfies.  We install software on said cameras to put dog ears or silly faces or touchups on every picture.  We instagram, facebook, shapchat, tik-tok their lives until they believe that they are truly the center of the universe. 

Because this a blog nobody reads and I have no interest in doing the research, I'll just go from memory...but somewhere I remember reading that some cultures thought that taking pictures were evil because it captured somebody's soul.  By putting one's image on to a piece of film or scattering it into megabytes of information, they no longer are themselves. 

I don't know that we can go back...but somewhere we need to address the idolatry of it all.  The decalogue warned about the danger of making graven images of God, but that no longer concerns us.  Rather, we are more interested in graven images of ourselves.  I wonder if this is an even more wicked form of worship...we got rid of God, and replaced him with ourselves.