On Sundays through this year I am preaching from the gospel of Luke a series entitled, 'A Year With Jesus'. There is so much in those few short chapters that I have way too many sermons to fit into 52 weeks...but still, there are a lot of other questions I have if I really did have a year to spend with Jesus.
-If Jesus was a carpenter like his father Joseph, did he ever hit his thumb with a hammer or cut himself with a saw? What did he scream if this happened?
-What kind of food did Jesus like? Did he complain that his fish wasn't seasoned? Would he have liked tacos?
-While Jesus surely would have loved Donald Trump, would he have considered Donald Trump a true follower? Or what of Barack Obama? The pope? Jerry Falwell, Jr?
-Did Jesus ever look out at an audience while he was preaching and see a woman and then have to pause to catch his breath because she was so beautiful?
-Did Jesus ever on accident step in donkey poo while walking down the road?
-Did Jesus ever have a thought flash through his head while looking at Peter, "Man, that dude smells like fish."?
-When Jesus preached in the synagogues, did he ever get impatient waiting for the people praying to finish so he could get up and preach?
-Did Jesus ever have food stuck on his face or beard? Did any of his disciples reach over and brush it off?
-Did Jesus ever look in a looking glass to check out his hair? Did he smell under his armpits? Did he ever walk back into a room to adjust an off-center tunic?
-When waking up in the morning, did Jesus have a stiff neck or a bad back? Did he have morning breath?
-Did Jesus ever have to break up a fight between his close disciples? Did he have to take Simon the Zealot and Matthew the tax collector and put them on opposite sides of the room to make them calm down?
-What would Jesus have thought about television? About movies? About our culture of entertainment?
-Did Jesus ever do a spit take because something around him was so amazingly funny?
-What did Jesus dream about? Did he have nightmares?
-Did Jesus ever have to deal with a woman who threw herself at him sexually? How did he get out of it?
-Did Jesus read things besides the Torah, prophets, and writings? Did he have a favorite book?
-When working in his carpenter's workshop, did Jesus ever realize that he made a mistake in measurements and have to throw out something?
-When Jesus was twelve and spent three days alone in Jerusalem at the temple before his parents found him, where did he sleep and eat? Who took him to their home?
-Did Jesus enjoy a good poop or pee as much as we do? Did he ever leave the spot he relieved himself at with a leaf stuck to his sandal?
-Was there anybody Jesus loved but never really liked that much? Did he ever see somebody walking towards him and inwardly groan?
-What was Jesus' favorite weather season of the year? Was he more about winter or summer or spring or fall?
I know that some of these questions sound ridiculous, if not scandalous. He is our Lord, of course...but as he was fully human, would not these things have been very real possibilities?
