I lived in a rural town on the Oregon coast early in my ministry. I was not married at the time and it did not take long before I realized that a good wife was not going to be found there. In this small town young people had two options: stay in town and get a job in the lumber mill or in the forest (jobs that were increasingly going away), or move into the I-5 corridor (or even further) and start a life or get an education but never come back again. I did make some friends with some 'young' people in the community, but never found a single dateable female. Sure, they were there, but none were really my type. If they stayed, they really wanted to stay there and live that kind of lifestyle, one that was not really for me. Any girls who came out of that area that I would have wanted to date left at an age far too young far before I arrived.
Years later I am happily married with a wonderful wife whom I did not find in Oregon, and now live and preach with a church on the edge of the Bible belt, but I continue to see history repeating itself. Today in my email inbox I got a notice about a church workshop put on not from where I live. It's being done by a large, LARGE church that is in the center of the Bible belt, and they have decided to come here and teach us how to do church better. I know that their intentions are good and right. They are prosperous spiritually and numerically, and we are not. They are trying to help be a blessing, and we need to honor that. But here's the thing: church here is not, and likely will not ever be, the same here as it is there, in part because they have all the most talented and gifted people who once grew up here. Like the Babylonians taking the best and brightest of the Jewish young men into their service, our 'best and brightest' now are firmly ensconced in the Bible belt.
Think about it. Like my time in Oregon, there are two types of young people in the church. One kind stays and lives and rarely moves far from home. They get no greater training from our church colleges and ministries and so, while they might have some gifts, they do not really have them developed in a professional manner. They might well serve and teach here, and even do well (and I know of a few who do so), but how much more gifted could they have been had they had the right kind of training? The other kind goes off to college (often a Christian college) looking for a bright new world, and they rarely ever come back. I see it again and again: we are sending our best and brightest and most gifted away to be even better than what they are now, but then they stay in or around the place where they went. Rather than come back and be a spiritual force in a small pond, they would rather stay in the large pond where it seems to be more safe spiritually.
I can't say that I really blame them. It's easier to be a part of a large church in an area in which more people come reside in your spiritual comfort zone and have been trained in much the same way. In these large churches, you aren't asked do as much, and perhaps you can even become more of a specialist. For those who stay, who live their lives in small churches that are in a less 'spiritual' culture, there's little time to really get good at one particular thing because you get asked to do so many different things. Even for those who stay in this area many tend to concentrate at a few of shrinking number of larger churches. There they have more youth programs, more diversified kinds of ministries and people than we have in our little churches. Again, I can't blame them for doing what they think is right for their families. But while large churches have many people with more developed gifts, smaller churches struggle to find those who are strong in spiritual gifts and have had some training to develop them.
Or here's a further example about preachers, something I know a lot about. Many of these larger congregations have numerous retired preachers (either those who were full-time or vocational) sitting in their pews. Many of these have moved to these large congregations after retiring: perhaps they are to be closer to their kids, or because they need to be in a town with better health care. Or perhaps many of them are just tired of having to lead. They've been leading and serving all their lives, working in churches in which they were one of the few with a college education or especially ministerial training. And now they are just tired of it. Sundays are now much easier for them. They don't have to preach two sermons and a class. Maybe they deserve some rest, but I'm guessing that even within an hours drive of where they attend there are literally dozens of little churches dying for somebody with their skill sets and gifts. But now that the preachers have become concentrated in the large church, they no longer have any interest in helping.
So when this large church decides to come up and tell us how to do better, maybe their plan will be to send back our young people, or to train people to go and work with small churches as much as possible where we are. Doing that will be the best blessing they can give to us.
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Summer 2015: Breathe-a-thon
It's the middle of the summer, so that means a)vacation for a lot of people and b)the Supreme Court is handling down a boatload of rulings before they escape the summer heat of DC for a few weeks. It's always an exciting time for court watchers, but this year has been especially important, for in the past few weeks the court has legalized gay marriage nationwide, upheld Obamacare subsidies, made it easier for power companies to pollute, and kept as legal some of the more controversial lethal injection processes used to put to death the worst among us. There's a bunch more they are ruling on, but I don't feel like looking up everything on which they have graced us with their wisdom and/or stupidity.
As you might expect, this has led to a lot of people FREAKING THE CRAP OUT. While most of these issues will rarely affect any of us directly (though, in the case of the court finding the Obamacare subsidies legal, this will save me and my family a ton of money), What This Means For America has become the trending topic of the day.
If you are one of these people who have become irate or overjoyed, then, let me give you a few words of advice as we continue on through summer. It's hot, and I don't want you overheating or dehydrating because you can't take the time to relax and breathe and eat. Once you calm down, you can thank me.
-The apocalypse is not coming because the gays are married or people are getting cheaper health care or polluters feel more like polluting. If it was, the stars really would fall from the sky, the sun would rain down fire, and the moon would turn to blood. Last I looked up, though, this had not happened. But if it does and you have been proven right, you have my permission to spend the rest of eternity telling us how wrong we idiots were.
-These are not the best of times nor the worst of times, nor the darkest of all eras nor the beginning of a new age of enlightenment. Read a little bit of history, people. At least we're not actually shooting at others over a matter of whether it really is good to enslave people with dark skin color. At least the plague is not killing millions even as we are engaged in 'the war to end all wars'. At least rivers aren't on fire. At least the economy is not in shambles and we are wondering whether or not we can afford to ever eat lamb again. Are things perfect? No. But I'd rather live now and here than at most any other time and place of history.
-You are not moving to Canada or Costa Rica or Uganda or Sweden because some people did some things you don't like. Once you calm down, your life is going to go on and you will realize how silly you looked at your threats to leave. You are staying right here, just like everybody else. I know, you feel like America has left you. Wouldn't you be happier in a place in which people were not so environmentally destructive, or where gays were put 'where they belong'? Yes, we all dream of moving to a place in which business is truly free or where human life is respected rather than destroyed. But you're not moving. You wouldn't be able to get ESPN there, would you? Vacation there if you want, but remember, you're still an American.
Look, I'm not saying all this to denigrate what you believe, though I admit I am making fun of you, at least a little bit. Nor am I saying that we shouldn't worry or get upset about bad things happening. But I am saying that in the big picture, these things are really small potatoes. They really are, trust me on this. I know it seems like a big thing now, but in a few weeks you'll be outraged at something different. Some presidential candidate will say something racist or something that goes against party dogma, or another fanatic will shoot up a mall or school or church building, or your football team will try covering up how they shrunk the goal posts to make field goals harder to make. You'll be outraged about those things and have completely forgotten how distraught you were a few weeks earlier. Come back and read this again. Breathe. Realize that it's not worth getting so mad about. Go for a walk and tell God how much he needs to agree with your position. And then come home and hug your kids. You'll get through this.
Now, do we have that straight? Are you ready to calm down and breathe again and stop freaking out? Good. Now, go get me some ice cream. Chocolate chip cookie dough if they have it.
As you might expect, this has led to a lot of people FREAKING THE CRAP OUT. While most of these issues will rarely affect any of us directly (though, in the case of the court finding the Obamacare subsidies legal, this will save me and my family a ton of money), What This Means For America has become the trending topic of the day.
If you are one of these people who have become irate or overjoyed, then, let me give you a few words of advice as we continue on through summer. It's hot, and I don't want you overheating or dehydrating because you can't take the time to relax and breathe and eat. Once you calm down, you can thank me.
-The apocalypse is not coming because the gays are married or people are getting cheaper health care or polluters feel more like polluting. If it was, the stars really would fall from the sky, the sun would rain down fire, and the moon would turn to blood. Last I looked up, though, this had not happened. But if it does and you have been proven right, you have my permission to spend the rest of eternity telling us how wrong we idiots were.
-These are not the best of times nor the worst of times, nor the darkest of all eras nor the beginning of a new age of enlightenment. Read a little bit of history, people. At least we're not actually shooting at others over a matter of whether it really is good to enslave people with dark skin color. At least the plague is not killing millions even as we are engaged in 'the war to end all wars'. At least rivers aren't on fire. At least the economy is not in shambles and we are wondering whether or not we can afford to ever eat lamb again. Are things perfect? No. But I'd rather live now and here than at most any other time and place of history.
-You are not moving to Canada or Costa Rica or Uganda or Sweden because some people did some things you don't like. Once you calm down, your life is going to go on and you will realize how silly you looked at your threats to leave. You are staying right here, just like everybody else. I know, you feel like America has left you. Wouldn't you be happier in a place in which people were not so environmentally destructive, or where gays were put 'where they belong'? Yes, we all dream of moving to a place in which business is truly free or where human life is respected rather than destroyed. But you're not moving. You wouldn't be able to get ESPN there, would you? Vacation there if you want, but remember, you're still an American.
Look, I'm not saying all this to denigrate what you believe, though I admit I am making fun of you, at least a little bit. Nor am I saying that we shouldn't worry or get upset about bad things happening. But I am saying that in the big picture, these things are really small potatoes. They really are, trust me on this. I know it seems like a big thing now, but in a few weeks you'll be outraged at something different. Some presidential candidate will say something racist or something that goes against party dogma, or another fanatic will shoot up a mall or school or church building, or your football team will try covering up how they shrunk the goal posts to make field goals harder to make. You'll be outraged about those things and have completely forgotten how distraught you were a few weeks earlier. Come back and read this again. Breathe. Realize that it's not worth getting so mad about. Go for a walk and tell God how much he needs to agree with your position. And then come home and hug your kids. You'll get through this.
Now, do we have that straight? Are you ready to calm down and breathe again and stop freaking out? Good. Now, go get me some ice cream. Chocolate chip cookie dough if they have it.
Thursday, June 25, 2015
'Fairgrounds Entertainment, Ltd.'
This summer our family is foregoing cable TV, having cut it off completely in favor of a menu of Hulu and Netflix. In truth, we're probably watching more TV than we did before because so much of cable TV is crap and there's really a lot of good stuff on those two providers. But that's not why we quit...by doing this we're saving almost $90/month even after you add up the Netflix and Hulu fees.
Still, I miss watching sports, which you don't get on those two, and only watching highlights over the internet really isn't fulfilling. We did a trial of Sling TV, which gives you 21 channels (including the first two ESPNs) for $20, and could have added a sports package that included BeIN sports for another $5, but again, this led to a fundamental problem I have with the idea of cable: sure, you get a couple of channels that you want, but you also get a bunch more channels that you don't and have to pay for them in the meantime. I will never watch Polaris or Galavision (unless, of course, they get the rights to EPL soccer), so don't make me pay for it!
There's been some talk for years about a 'pick-and-pay' cable system, but it's never really taken off, mostly because groups as diverse as minorities (concerned about diversity) to religious broadcasters (worried that their stuff won't be selected) to ESPN (realizing with dread that if people knew the real cost of subscribing to them many would not) would fight it to the death. Every once in awhile the idea is proposed again, but cable companies know that this would kill their bottom line and so nothing like this will ever get done.
But still we can dream here in blogland. I got to thinking today while mowing the yard in a hundred degree heat about an entertainment company I would start if I had a few billion and could nullify most of the existing laws and agreements. It's called 'Fairgrounds Entertainment', conjuring up an idea about this being fair, but also the memory we have of buying a la carte tokens when we go to county fairs. Pay one token for a kiddie ride, but if you want to go big and ride the screamer that costs you five.
So here's how it would work, if a pick-and-pay system will never happen here: let's say for $50 you get a hundred tokens of value. You can't buy less, ensuring that the cable company gets something and making it where you have to buy at least a certain value number of channels. But with that hundred tokens you can choose what you want. Want to go cheap? There's El Rey for a single token! Willing to spend a little bit more to make the tweens happy? You can get a month of Nickelodeon for three tokens! And if you really want to splurge, you can buy each of the ESPNs for 10 apiece.
Companies can decide how many tokens they want to charge. If they have a high opinion of their network, they can charge as much as they want...but then will face the consequences of not having a lot of subscribers. Companies more interested in volume and increasing their market share can each get for a buck. Over time companies can lower or raise their cost, knowing that whatever they do will in turn affect their subscription rate. This really is the free market at its best; my old economics professors would combust in their Adam Smith-ness if they could see this happen.
Because here's the catch: every month consumers can re-choose what they want to buy by logging onto their account and switching up their lineup. Choice rules everything. No longer interested in AMC now that Mad Men and Breaking Bad are gone? That's four tokens to spend elsewhere. Want a month of watching the Copa Del Rey soccer tournament on BeIN sports for three tokens apiece? Sounds great! Again, this seems to be the dream of the free market at its best: cable channels that are good get selected for a fair price; cable channels no longer worth watching or who make the mistake of taking the easy buck by cramming in lots of infomercials get dumped. It's that easy.
If 100 tokens are not enough, there can be more variations than your simple 100 token package, but this will continue to be the minimum. Want to add another 50 tokens for $20? Sounds good. Look into 'bundling options' that some channels are teaming up to do (e.g. Oxygen, Lifetime, and HGTV are available together for three months at 10 tokens a month rather than their normal cost of 4 tokens each)? We can do that too. Rival channels running at discounts in order to get market share (getting Fox Sports and NBC Sports and the MLB channel at the same price as ESPN)? It's a TV wonderland!
The downside of this idea (beyond the fact that cable companies will never, EVER let Congress allow this to happen) is that bad channels will quickly go bankrupt. And in truth you won't get as many channels as you get now, and likely most people would be too lazy to ever change their channels monthly. I'm not really sure Americans could handle this much freedom.
But still, we can dream. If you love nothing but news you could get your fill of the cable news and financial channels. If you love sports, you could have a whole package of nothing but ESPN and Fox Sports and a ton of other channels. Networks could even get involved, though it would be hilarious when many of them are rudely awakened that not many people would pay half their tokens for a whole morning of Today and Jerry Springer.
Because I a)will never have the money to do this and b)do not have the business acumen to do this anybody who wants to steal this idea is more than welcome to do so. My only request is that I get extra tokens at least a couple of times a year...
Still, I miss watching sports, which you don't get on those two, and only watching highlights over the internet really isn't fulfilling. We did a trial of Sling TV, which gives you 21 channels (including the first two ESPNs) for $20, and could have added a sports package that included BeIN sports for another $5, but again, this led to a fundamental problem I have with the idea of cable: sure, you get a couple of channels that you want, but you also get a bunch more channels that you don't and have to pay for them in the meantime. I will never watch Polaris or Galavision (unless, of course, they get the rights to EPL soccer), so don't make me pay for it!
There's been some talk for years about a 'pick-and-pay' cable system, but it's never really taken off, mostly because groups as diverse as minorities (concerned about diversity) to religious broadcasters (worried that their stuff won't be selected) to ESPN (realizing with dread that if people knew the real cost of subscribing to them many would not) would fight it to the death. Every once in awhile the idea is proposed again, but cable companies know that this would kill their bottom line and so nothing like this will ever get done.
But still we can dream here in blogland. I got to thinking today while mowing the yard in a hundred degree heat about an entertainment company I would start if I had a few billion and could nullify most of the existing laws and agreements. It's called 'Fairgrounds Entertainment', conjuring up an idea about this being fair, but also the memory we have of buying a la carte tokens when we go to county fairs. Pay one token for a kiddie ride, but if you want to go big and ride the screamer that costs you five.
So here's how it would work, if a pick-and-pay system will never happen here: let's say for $50 you get a hundred tokens of value. You can't buy less, ensuring that the cable company gets something and making it where you have to buy at least a certain value number of channels. But with that hundred tokens you can choose what you want. Want to go cheap? There's El Rey for a single token! Willing to spend a little bit more to make the tweens happy? You can get a month of Nickelodeon for three tokens! And if you really want to splurge, you can buy each of the ESPNs for 10 apiece.
Companies can decide how many tokens they want to charge. If they have a high opinion of their network, they can charge as much as they want...but then will face the consequences of not having a lot of subscribers. Companies more interested in volume and increasing their market share can each get for a buck. Over time companies can lower or raise their cost, knowing that whatever they do will in turn affect their subscription rate. This really is the free market at its best; my old economics professors would combust in their Adam Smith-ness if they could see this happen.
Because here's the catch: every month consumers can re-choose what they want to buy by logging onto their account and switching up their lineup. Choice rules everything. No longer interested in AMC now that Mad Men and Breaking Bad are gone? That's four tokens to spend elsewhere. Want a month of watching the Copa Del Rey soccer tournament on BeIN sports for three tokens apiece? Sounds great! Again, this seems to be the dream of the free market at its best: cable channels that are good get selected for a fair price; cable channels no longer worth watching or who make the mistake of taking the easy buck by cramming in lots of infomercials get dumped. It's that easy.
If 100 tokens are not enough, there can be more variations than your simple 100 token package, but this will continue to be the minimum. Want to add another 50 tokens for $20? Sounds good. Look into 'bundling options' that some channels are teaming up to do (e.g. Oxygen, Lifetime, and HGTV are available together for three months at 10 tokens a month rather than their normal cost of 4 tokens each)? We can do that too. Rival channels running at discounts in order to get market share (getting Fox Sports and NBC Sports and the MLB channel at the same price as ESPN)? It's a TV wonderland!
The downside of this idea (beyond the fact that cable companies will never, EVER let Congress allow this to happen) is that bad channels will quickly go bankrupt. And in truth you won't get as many channels as you get now, and likely most people would be too lazy to ever change their channels monthly. I'm not really sure Americans could handle this much freedom.
But still, we can dream. If you love nothing but news you could get your fill of the cable news and financial channels. If you love sports, you could have a whole package of nothing but ESPN and Fox Sports and a ton of other channels. Networks could even get involved, though it would be hilarious when many of them are rudely awakened that not many people would pay half their tokens for a whole morning of Today and Jerry Springer.
Because I a)will never have the money to do this and b)do not have the business acumen to do this anybody who wants to steal this idea is more than welcome to do so. My only request is that I get extra tokens at least a couple of times a year...
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Booing Brownback
Recently there was a storm of outrage about Governor Brownback being booed at the WSU/KU game. How dare people boo the governor! Why, it's disrespectful and hateful. I've seen more than a few of my conservative friends up in arms about this.
And while I think some of the comments were funny (such as, 'how can he root for these teams when he's just as soon cut off funding for their schools'?), I agree at least in principle with what the frustration...leaders should be respected and prayed for. As a Christian, I should seek to pray for leaders I agree with and leaders I don't.
But I can't help but laugh when, living in the most red of red states, there is this outrage about Governor Brownback when he has been booed. President Obama, and most Democrats, can only hope to get off with booing from most Christians.
Will Christians repent for the hateful and slanderous things that have been said about Obama, the Clintons, Nancy Pelosi, and the like through most of my lifetime?
Will Christians turn off Fox News when 'fair and balanced' means little more than a token defender of the President while their hosts make endless and unsubstantiated allegations about him and his political allies?
Will Christians stop gleefully listening to hour upon hour of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and the like, who are little more than hatchet men who know that their mostly 'Christian' audiences love to hear mocking and salacious attacks on their political enemies?
Living in a red state, I can guarantee that it takes a lot more 'courage' and 'boldness' to speak against the poor policies of Brownback, the Koch brothers, and their political allies than it does to complain about the President and the federal government. Everybody does the latter...almost nobody does the former. Especially at church, when many of my fellow Christians feel that tea partyism is equivalent to Christianity.
So I agree...what happened was distasteful. But until I hear 'Christian' people start to be more proper and righteous with their words (and not behave like 'spoiled brats' as one writer said...conservative Christians live with far more of a delusion of entitlement than anybody I know, but that's for another time), I'll not really take those complaints seriously.
And while I think some of the comments were funny (such as, 'how can he root for these teams when he's just as soon cut off funding for their schools'?), I agree at least in principle with what the frustration...leaders should be respected and prayed for. As a Christian, I should seek to pray for leaders I agree with and leaders I don't.
But I can't help but laugh when, living in the most red of red states, there is this outrage about Governor Brownback when he has been booed. President Obama, and most Democrats, can only hope to get off with booing from most Christians.
Will Christians repent for the hateful and slanderous things that have been said about Obama, the Clintons, Nancy Pelosi, and the like through most of my lifetime?
Will Christians turn off Fox News when 'fair and balanced' means little more than a token defender of the President while their hosts make endless and unsubstantiated allegations about him and his political allies?
Will Christians stop gleefully listening to hour upon hour of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and the like, who are little more than hatchet men who know that their mostly 'Christian' audiences love to hear mocking and salacious attacks on their political enemies?
Living in a red state, I can guarantee that it takes a lot more 'courage' and 'boldness' to speak against the poor policies of Brownback, the Koch brothers, and their political allies than it does to complain about the President and the federal government. Everybody does the latter...almost nobody does the former. Especially at church, when many of my fellow Christians feel that tea partyism is equivalent to Christianity.
So I agree...what happened was distasteful. But until I hear 'Christian' people start to be more proper and righteous with their words (and not behave like 'spoiled brats' as one writer said...conservative Christians live with far more of a delusion of entitlement than anybody I know, but that's for another time), I'll not really take those complaints seriously.
Saturday, February 21, 2015
The last of the heroes
As a young boy I grew up, like most kids, looking for role models. Coming from a family in which sports was important I gravitated towards athletes. Pete Rose, O.J. Simpson, and Dr. J were three athletes that I thought were the coolest of the cool. Yep, a gambler, murderer, and a legendary philanderer were my heroes, though I didn't know any of their dirty secrets at the time.
But nobody compared to Bruce Jenner, 1976 Olympic decathlon winner. Here was the greatest athlete in the world, a man among men. He was forever on the box of Wheaties, the stud we all aspired to be. He became a reporter, man about town, race car driver. He was so manly that eventually he replaced Erik Estrada on CHIPS. Sure, it didn't last...but even Estrada never was on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
When did it all go wrong? Maybe it was when he appeared on Silver Spoons. Or maybe when he was the star of 'Can't Stop The Music'. But was there ever a point where we could say he was headed towards this bizarre Kardashian/transgender/hit-and-run place he is at now? And what does the seven-year-old within me think of all this?
Heroes are strange things. There's something within us that looks up to certain people, and when those people no longer are what we thought they were (or we realize that they never were what we thought they were to begin with) it affects us. None of these heroes should be blamed for not fulfilling our expectations...but the spotlight can be a very hard thing, not only for the ones under it but the ones watching it.
I suppose I still have heroes, though they are more about genuine character than our imaginations. Heroes in recent years are people I know...a minister friend of mine who died recently after many years of faithful service to the church, or a grandmother who takes her children in when her kids aren't able to raise them well, or a teacher who year after year puts up with the crap of the modern education system because she loves kids. People like this will still fail sometimes, but at least they won't have married a Kardashian.
But nobody compared to Bruce Jenner, 1976 Olympic decathlon winner. Here was the greatest athlete in the world, a man among men. He was forever on the box of Wheaties, the stud we all aspired to be. He became a reporter, man about town, race car driver. He was so manly that eventually he replaced Erik Estrada on CHIPS. Sure, it didn't last...but even Estrada never was on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
When did it all go wrong? Maybe it was when he appeared on Silver Spoons. Or maybe when he was the star of 'Can't Stop The Music'. But was there ever a point where we could say he was headed towards this bizarre Kardashian/transgender/hit-and-run place he is at now? And what does the seven-year-old within me think of all this?
Heroes are strange things. There's something within us that looks up to certain people, and when those people no longer are what we thought they were (or we realize that they never were what we thought they were to begin with) it affects us. None of these heroes should be blamed for not fulfilling our expectations...but the spotlight can be a very hard thing, not only for the ones under it but the ones watching it.
I suppose I still have heroes, though they are more about genuine character than our imaginations. Heroes in recent years are people I know...a minister friend of mine who died recently after many years of faithful service to the church, or a grandmother who takes her children in when her kids aren't able to raise them well, or a teacher who year after year puts up with the crap of the modern education system because she loves kids. People like this will still fail sometimes, but at least they won't have married a Kardashian.
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