There is a man in our community who I try to avoid running into, but often between my walks and his runs that is not possible. He's a good man, but he's always trying to get me to commit to things that I do not want to do. He's not a member of our congregation, but he has been trying to spearhead community prayer meetings and preacher get-togethers and other good works, and I continually tell him no, I'm sorry, I can't be a part of it.
At this point you think I'm just a bad person, not wanting to do God's work. And maybe I am. But I have been to his gatherings several times...and usually they have been something far different than I was told that they would be. Prayer gatherings turn into testimonials or worship services. Times to pray have involved anything but prayer. And again, the things they may be are good...but over the past few years I've simply tried to avoid going. Whether I say NO, or make excuses, or legitimately have other things going on, my answer to him should be obvious, but he keeps asking.
I struggle with this, really, because I know that in his mind he is pushing for good, and maybe I do need to get out of my comfort zone. But yet I learned a long time ago certain things about myself, that I only have so much time in the day and I have to learn to say NO to things that are not in keeping with what I need to do. I have two jobs, a wife, and two kids. As an introvert, I have a genuine need for alone time, and as a preacher and teacher, I have a genuine need for a lot of quiet time in study and prayer. I really am exceedingly busy at this point in my life with these very good things, and sometimes I wonder if I'm letting my jobs even get in the way with my family and other important relationships. Where can I cut back? is always a question I need to be answering, rather than what can I keep adding to my to-do list?
I've been in full-time ministry now almost 23 years, and I have never gone through the depths of burnout like many of my colleagues. Some might think I am lazy and don't commit myself enough. But watching others fail in their ability to set proper boundaries, and seeing the fallout from broken marriages and estrangement from children and implosion in their ministry, I think I best know the limits that God has set for me. And that means saying NO to some very good things. And if I disappoint a few peripheral people along the way, then so be it.
