I play video games once in awhile. And since nobody in my house likes to play Rocket League with me, I play online against people. The truth is, I'm not very good. Video games, I think, are like real sports in only one way, that younger people are better than old people. I don't have the reaction time or the vision or simply the ability to put in the hours necessary in order to be good. But I like to play.
So the other night I go online for a one-on-one dual. I don't do this often, because I'm not very good. But surprisingly, in the 5-minute match I got out to a quick 2-0 lead, and I was in control of the ball and maybe was going to score again Yeah! That does not happen very often, so I got excited...until whoever I was playing dropped off and I won by forfeit. WHAT? Yes, it goes into the ranking system as a win for me (one of few), and I am assuming a loss for the other person, but still...that's just bad sportsmanship.
I go back out into the game matchup, sign up for another game, and whaddaya know...they match me up with the Exact Same Player. That's actually hard to do...at any given time there are tens of thousands of people playing online. But we start again, and sure enough, I get a quick goal. And again, this person forfeits, like a chump. I'm really ticked off this time, so I do what I had never done before and reported the person as having unsportsmanlike behavior. Hopefully he gets kicked off for awhile, because that's just bad.
Now, maybe his internet connection was bad. Or maybe it was a really small kid who genuinely had never played before and didn't know what he was in for (of course, he still might beat me, because I'm not very good). But I would guess that the person I beat was likely some kid who thinks he is entitled to quit the moment he got down. I watch enough youth sports with my kids to know that this is a very real thing...yesterday my son played a team in which a kid on the other team cried every time he got a foul. But quitting entirely? I've done that against the computer before...but against a real person on the other end of the internet? It's the equivalent of playing basketball against somebody to 21 and you get two quick buckets on them and the other player decides to quit. C'mon, man. Toughen up. Sometimes you lose, and being an adult is about learning to take your beating. Trust me, I know...there have been times I have been completely embarrassed on that game...only recently I lost to somebody something like 15-1. I really wanted to quit, but I didn't...that would not be fair to the person I played against. And hopefully it made me a little bit better player in the end, because I don't want to get beaten that badly again. Finish the game. Be a good sport, whether you win or lose. Don't refuse to play just because you get your butt kicked. Man up.
(And yes, I know complaining about video games is the stupidest rant ever.)
Sunday, January 28, 2018
Saying No
There is a man in our community who I try to avoid running into, but often between my walks and his runs that is not possible. He's a good man, but he's always trying to get me to commit to things that I do not want to do. He's not a member of our congregation, but he has been trying to spearhead community prayer meetings and preacher get-togethers and other good works, and I continually tell him no, I'm sorry, I can't be a part of it.
At this point you think I'm just a bad person, not wanting to do God's work. And maybe I am. But I have been to his gatherings several times...and usually they have been something far different than I was told that they would be. Prayer gatherings turn into testimonials or worship services. Times to pray have involved anything but prayer. And again, the things they may be are good...but over the past few years I've simply tried to avoid going. Whether I say NO, or make excuses, or legitimately have other things going on, my answer to him should be obvious, but he keeps asking.
I struggle with this, really, because I know that in his mind he is pushing for good, and maybe I do need to get out of my comfort zone. But yet I learned a long time ago certain things about myself, that I only have so much time in the day and I have to learn to say NO to things that are not in keeping with what I need to do. I have two jobs, a wife, and two kids. As an introvert, I have a genuine need for alone time, and as a preacher and teacher, I have a genuine need for a lot of quiet time in study and prayer. I really am exceedingly busy at this point in my life with these very good things, and sometimes I wonder if I'm letting my jobs even get in the way with my family and other important relationships. Where can I cut back? is always a question I need to be answering, rather than what can I keep adding to my to-do list?
I've been in full-time ministry now almost 23 years, and I have never gone through the depths of burnout like many of my colleagues. Some might think I am lazy and don't commit myself enough. But watching others fail in their ability to set proper boundaries, and seeing the fallout from broken marriages and estrangement from children and implosion in their ministry, I think I best know the limits that God has set for me. And that means saying NO to some very good things. And if I disappoint a few peripheral people along the way, then so be it.
At this point you think I'm just a bad person, not wanting to do God's work. And maybe I am. But I have been to his gatherings several times...and usually they have been something far different than I was told that they would be. Prayer gatherings turn into testimonials or worship services. Times to pray have involved anything but prayer. And again, the things they may be are good...but over the past few years I've simply tried to avoid going. Whether I say NO, or make excuses, or legitimately have other things going on, my answer to him should be obvious, but he keeps asking.
I struggle with this, really, because I know that in his mind he is pushing for good, and maybe I do need to get out of my comfort zone. But yet I learned a long time ago certain things about myself, that I only have so much time in the day and I have to learn to say NO to things that are not in keeping with what I need to do. I have two jobs, a wife, and two kids. As an introvert, I have a genuine need for alone time, and as a preacher and teacher, I have a genuine need for a lot of quiet time in study and prayer. I really am exceedingly busy at this point in my life with these very good things, and sometimes I wonder if I'm letting my jobs even get in the way with my family and other important relationships. Where can I cut back? is always a question I need to be answering, rather than what can I keep adding to my to-do list?
I've been in full-time ministry now almost 23 years, and I have never gone through the depths of burnout like many of my colleagues. Some might think I am lazy and don't commit myself enough. But watching others fail in their ability to set proper boundaries, and seeing the fallout from broken marriages and estrangement from children and implosion in their ministry, I think I best know the limits that God has set for me. And that means saying NO to some very good things. And if I disappoint a few peripheral people along the way, then so be it.
Friday, January 5, 2018
On Christian Universities...
Very interesting article in the January 2018 Christian Chronicle about how less of 'our' universities have students that self-identify with Churches of Christ. Here is my letter in response...
https://christianchronicle.org/christian-universities-feeling-the-pinch-as-churches-of-christ-shrink/
To The Christian Chronicle:
I read with great interest your January article about the decline at Church of Christ affiliated universities of students who self-identify as members of Churches of Christ. I appreciate this article and the reporting that went into it, but I have a few comments and questions.
First, I do feel more should have been mentioned about the actual financial costs of Christian colleges and universities. I would like to have seen in a chart or within the article what are some of the costs of these universities. I was fortunate to graduate from Harding with both a bachelors and a masters in the early 1990s, and fortunately through scholarships and parental help incurred little debt. But I had many friends who spent almost two decades paying off their student loans. I would suspect that in recent years the problem has only gotten worse. As a parent of two children who will be attending college within a few years, I am already discouraged by the reports I am hearing of how much these colleges cost. We have worked hard to save money for college, but likely have only saved enough for them to attend for a year or two. Here are my questions: Why have these colleges gotten so expensive? Have they moved so far from their humble origins that they are now inaccessible to the ‘have-nots’? Have they so invested in collegiate sports, luxurious buildings, and other ‘necessities’ that they have forgotten their purpose in the kingdom? Where is the critical analysis of past decisions and future plans that university administrations have made that have kept some of ‘our’ people away? And is this part of a larger national trend in which the rich are not affected by the exploding costs of college, while the more low-income and middle-class are being priced out of the opportunities that previous generations took for granted? Is the growing gap between rich and poor within our country to blame, in that it has made our institutional leaders unaware of how difficult it is for some to afford higher education?
Second, I find it interesting that many in a movement that has called for our religious neighbors to become ‘Christians only’ see that when this actually happens it is a cause for alarm. We should be giving praise to God that some are identifying only as 'Christian!' Though I am thankful that this was not overtly stated in the article, I do know many who will read the article with concern that ‘we’ are losing our identity. All around us churches that are growing usually have a non-denominational aspect to them and seek the name of Christian and wear it proudly. Do they always understand Scripture exactly as Churches of Christ historically have? No. But rather than see this as an opportunity to have conversations with those who might look at Scripture and faith with fresh eyes, many feel threatened because they are not ‘of us’. Have we in Churches of Christ become so stagnant in our pursuit of restoration that any kind of correction we might encounter or other form being ‘Christians only’ might take is considered dangerous?
Third, if more of ‘our’ students are choosing not to attend ‘our’ schools, what effect is this having on campus ministries affiliated with Churches of Christ? Is there a marked increase in their number? Are more churches seeking to find ways to support outreach onto state or other private university campuses? Having been both a student at a Christian university and a campus minister at a state university, I found that genuine Christian faith and growth was not necessarily dependent upon being within the ‘bubble’ of a Christian university. Indeed, I knew many of my fellow students at Harding who had grown up in church but had little to no interest in matters of faith; I can vividly remember how many would complain about daily chapel and how few actually attended Sunday services. Conversely, in campus work on a state university campus I also found a genuine Christian hunger on the part of many who could not or chose not to attend Christian schools. Campus ministries and outreaches, if we consider the implications of your story, will have an increasingly vital part to play in the future of the church...so how will we support them?
Finally, one must also consider a growing reluctance for some churches to promote Christian universities, seeing that it might not be in their best interest long-term. While some have always been suspicious of the ‘progressive’ elements that seem inherent to a college education, I wonder if practically churches outside the Bible belt or even within smaller, isolated towns have felt burned by sending students to Christian universities. Why? Because after they finish their education, how many of these students return home to be a blessing to the church in the small town or to a place outside the traditional strongholds of our fellowship? Having spent most of my adult life now in smaller towns outside or on the edge of the ‘Bible Belt’, I have seen what happens when students go away to college...rarely do they come back. Many stay and seek jobs and families in the areas around Oklahoma City, Dallas, Nashville, Little Rock, and Atlanta and join large churches, rather than returning home where they could serve churches and communities that desperately need the insights and education that they learned. Yes, this is part of a national trend, and many students would do the same having attended non-Christian universities...but at least for those far from Christian schools, this would mean they stayed closer to home. Several times I have wondered how genuinely our Christian universities have promoted the idea of ‘home-mission’ to their students...how many chapel programs encourage them to return back to where they came from and make a difference? How many of them encourage them to move to a place where the church is not strong or numerous and do the hard work of building it up? For many churches who have watched with hope their young people go away but disappointingly learned that they were not returning, there is a feeling that perhaps Christian colleges are not worth it for them.
Again, thank you for this article, and for all the good you do. May God continue to bless your work.
For Christ and the Church,
David Blankenship
Mulvane, Kansas
https://christianchronicle.org/christian-universities-feeling-the-pinch-as-churches-of-christ-shrink/
To The Christian Chronicle:
I read with great interest your January article about the decline at Church of Christ affiliated universities of students who self-identify as members of Churches of Christ. I appreciate this article and the reporting that went into it, but I have a few comments and questions.
First, I do feel more should have been mentioned about the actual financial costs of Christian colleges and universities. I would like to have seen in a chart or within the article what are some of the costs of these universities. I was fortunate to graduate from Harding with both a bachelors and a masters in the early 1990s, and fortunately through scholarships and parental help incurred little debt. But I had many friends who spent almost two decades paying off their student loans. I would suspect that in recent years the problem has only gotten worse. As a parent of two children who will be attending college within a few years, I am already discouraged by the reports I am hearing of how much these colleges cost. We have worked hard to save money for college, but likely have only saved enough for them to attend for a year or two. Here are my questions: Why have these colleges gotten so expensive? Have they moved so far from their humble origins that they are now inaccessible to the ‘have-nots’? Have they so invested in collegiate sports, luxurious buildings, and other ‘necessities’ that they have forgotten their purpose in the kingdom? Where is the critical analysis of past decisions and future plans that university administrations have made that have kept some of ‘our’ people away? And is this part of a larger national trend in which the rich are not affected by the exploding costs of college, while the more low-income and middle-class are being priced out of the opportunities that previous generations took for granted? Is the growing gap between rich and poor within our country to blame, in that it has made our institutional leaders unaware of how difficult it is for some to afford higher education?
Second, I find it interesting that many in a movement that has called for our religious neighbors to become ‘Christians only’ see that when this actually happens it is a cause for alarm. We should be giving praise to God that some are identifying only as 'Christian!' Though I am thankful that this was not overtly stated in the article, I do know many who will read the article with concern that ‘we’ are losing our identity. All around us churches that are growing usually have a non-denominational aspect to them and seek the name of Christian and wear it proudly. Do they always understand Scripture exactly as Churches of Christ historically have? No. But rather than see this as an opportunity to have conversations with those who might look at Scripture and faith with fresh eyes, many feel threatened because they are not ‘of us’. Have we in Churches of Christ become so stagnant in our pursuit of restoration that any kind of correction we might encounter or other form being ‘Christians only’ might take is considered dangerous?
Third, if more of ‘our’ students are choosing not to attend ‘our’ schools, what effect is this having on campus ministries affiliated with Churches of Christ? Is there a marked increase in their number? Are more churches seeking to find ways to support outreach onto state or other private university campuses? Having been both a student at a Christian university and a campus minister at a state university, I found that genuine Christian faith and growth was not necessarily dependent upon being within the ‘bubble’ of a Christian university. Indeed, I knew many of my fellow students at Harding who had grown up in church but had little to no interest in matters of faith; I can vividly remember how many would complain about daily chapel and how few actually attended Sunday services. Conversely, in campus work on a state university campus I also found a genuine Christian hunger on the part of many who could not or chose not to attend Christian schools. Campus ministries and outreaches, if we consider the implications of your story, will have an increasingly vital part to play in the future of the church...so how will we support them?
Finally, one must also consider a growing reluctance for some churches to promote Christian universities, seeing that it might not be in their best interest long-term. While some have always been suspicious of the ‘progressive’ elements that seem inherent to a college education, I wonder if practically churches outside the Bible belt or even within smaller, isolated towns have felt burned by sending students to Christian universities. Why? Because after they finish their education, how many of these students return home to be a blessing to the church in the small town or to a place outside the traditional strongholds of our fellowship? Having spent most of my adult life now in smaller towns outside or on the edge of the ‘Bible Belt’, I have seen what happens when students go away to college...rarely do they come back. Many stay and seek jobs and families in the areas around Oklahoma City, Dallas, Nashville, Little Rock, and Atlanta and join large churches, rather than returning home where they could serve churches and communities that desperately need the insights and education that they learned. Yes, this is part of a national trend, and many students would do the same having attended non-Christian universities...but at least for those far from Christian schools, this would mean they stayed closer to home. Several times I have wondered how genuinely our Christian universities have promoted the idea of ‘home-mission’ to their students...how many chapel programs encourage them to return back to where they came from and make a difference? How many of them encourage them to move to a place where the church is not strong or numerous and do the hard work of building it up? For many churches who have watched with hope their young people go away but disappointingly learned that they were not returning, there is a feeling that perhaps Christian colleges are not worth it for them.
Again, thank you for this article, and for all the good you do. May God continue to bless your work.
For Christ and the Church,
David Blankenship
Mulvane, Kansas
Thursday, January 4, 2018
Trump's Defenders
A new year, but the same terrible President. Anybody who hoped that this year he would turn over a new leaf and be Decent Don rather than Trumpy the firebomber are to be greatly saddened. After all, a 12 year old in an old man's body doesn't cotton to change very easily, does he?
But I'm still amazed that his support continues to hold steady at around 38%. I'd ask incredulously 'Who are these people?' but they are my family, my neighbors, my co-workers, and my friends in Christ. They are living in a different world, perhaps, but I am still caused to tolerate them in love.
Yet I'm amazed at the defenses these apologists give them. There are 3, I think:
1)"Look at what he's done! He gave us the Supreme Court!" Yes, I'm certainly glad that the conservatives now look at the courts as nothing more than a political football to be won. Any Republican president would have done this, but his supporters act as if he's saved the nation. Gorsuch might well be a good justice, but some of his lower-court appointments...yeesh. Thankfully a few of them have withdrawn after being shown to be incompetent or corrupt. But more worringly are the many foreign service and other national security appointments going unfilled after he has ridiculed their work and driven many out. The real work is done by people who do the work that leaders of both parties take credit for...but if there are not these people doing the work that goes unnoticed, how is Trumpy going to claim victories? Good thing he has the Giant Button on his desk.
2)"But...Hillary!" I did not vote for Hillary...but playing the deflection game gets old and proves nothing. If while growing up my brother had come home drunk, injured after a fight, and having wrecked the car, his defense of "But look at David! He didn't make his bed!" would not have sufficed. It's time for people to stop showing relief at what is not and face up to the reality of what is. And what is, sucks.
3)"I like Trump. He's tough and doesn't apologize and makes us strong. 'Mercia!" What saddens me about this excuse is that it is often up by many of the same Christian people who preach Godliness in so man aspects of life look at the bullying and hatred that is this man's language and then praise it. It's as if people turn their brains off when it comes to this guy, accepting as good and righteous what in any other situation would be wholly unacceptable. Taunting a nuclear rogue state? Undermining the relationships that America has developed over decades of leadership by both parties? Part of being President is about learning how to play nice with others.
I suppose I can take solace in the fact that if the Democrats run somebody besides a convicted felon who has a dead hooker in the trunk of her car, they surely will oust Trump in three years. But man, that seems like a long time.
But I'm still amazed that his support continues to hold steady at around 38%. I'd ask incredulously 'Who are these people?' but they are my family, my neighbors, my co-workers, and my friends in Christ. They are living in a different world, perhaps, but I am still caused to tolerate them in love.
Yet I'm amazed at the defenses these apologists give them. There are 3, I think:
1)"Look at what he's done! He gave us the Supreme Court!" Yes, I'm certainly glad that the conservatives now look at the courts as nothing more than a political football to be won. Any Republican president would have done this, but his supporters act as if he's saved the nation. Gorsuch might well be a good justice, but some of his lower-court appointments...yeesh. Thankfully a few of them have withdrawn after being shown to be incompetent or corrupt. But more worringly are the many foreign service and other national security appointments going unfilled after he has ridiculed their work and driven many out. The real work is done by people who do the work that leaders of both parties take credit for...but if there are not these people doing the work that goes unnoticed, how is Trumpy going to claim victories? Good thing he has the Giant Button on his desk.
2)"But...Hillary!" I did not vote for Hillary...but playing the deflection game gets old and proves nothing. If while growing up my brother had come home drunk, injured after a fight, and having wrecked the car, his defense of "But look at David! He didn't make his bed!" would not have sufficed. It's time for people to stop showing relief at what is not and face up to the reality of what is. And what is, sucks.
3)"I like Trump. He's tough and doesn't apologize and makes us strong. 'Mercia!" What saddens me about this excuse is that it is often up by many of the same Christian people who preach Godliness in so man aspects of life look at the bullying and hatred that is this man's language and then praise it. It's as if people turn their brains off when it comes to this guy, accepting as good and righteous what in any other situation would be wholly unacceptable. Taunting a nuclear rogue state? Undermining the relationships that America has developed over decades of leadership by both parties? Part of being President is about learning how to play nice with others.
I suppose I can take solace in the fact that if the Democrats run somebody besides a convicted felon who has a dead hooker in the trunk of her car, they surely will oust Trump in three years. But man, that seems like a long time.
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