Thursday, July 31, 2014

Yo, Adrian!

The other day I was lounging around and one of the cable networks had a 'Rocky' marathon going on. Rocky is one of those iconic movie franchises that's always on TV, so I remember it in bits and pieces rather than as a whole.  It's unlikely that I've ever seen most of the movies in their entirety, uncut, but I've seen some of the scenes a half-hundred times.  How many times have I seen Rocky running to the top of the mountain somewhere in Siberia and think, yeah, I need to get outside more?

But the other day I caught the beginning of the first Rocky, when he's in the middle of the fight at Resurrection A.C. and after getting head butted he knocks the crap out of Spider Rico before going back to the locker room to get his $65 (minus the cost for the towel, locker, cutman, and taxes).  Since I had little else to do (actually I did, but didn't want to) I tuned on in.  A few thoughts on Rocky, 38 years later.

1)Adrian isn't nearly as much a wet blanket in this movie as she is in later years ("YOU CAN"T WIN!"); she's just a homely girl from the neighborhood who lives with her abusive and drunk brother.  To me she's one of the more fascinating characters at this point.  I fear that at some point she was molested by her brother or another relative.  But what gets me about Adrian and Rocky's relationship in this movie is how at first he's really a bit of a stalker, and second, when she finally goes out on a date with him that he basically date-rapes her in the end.  She walks him home (!?), then he practically forces her to come inside of his apartment.  Then, when she keeps trying over and over again to leave, he won't let her go...and then they do the deed. Society had a much different perspective on power roles of men and women in those days.  Today if that scene was re-made, there would be huge protests about how Rocky forced himself onto her, and rightly so.  Hey Rock, NO MEANS NO.  Creep.

2)During his training Rocky goes into a frozen meat locker and finds that he likes hitting a side of beef.  Paulie says that his boss says it's OK...but is it really?  And if it is, aren't there huge health code violations there?  Where is the USDA?  Yes, there's prime, choice, and select cuts of beef, and finally beef that has been used for a punching bag.  And who, after the news report of what he's been doing, does any reputable restaurant or grocery in the area want to buy meat from Shamrock meats?

3)Apollo Creed didn't know it was a damn fight, he thought it was a damn show!  That's why he allows himself to be knocked around for 15 rounds before winning in a split decision.  Apollo, after a long period of being champion (had he beaten Smokin' Joe Frazier into retirement?  And where was Foreman and Ali?  Jerry Quarry, anybody?) really was focusing too much on the PR stuff and wasn't ready to fight.  But then, what about Rocky 2?  Was Apollo simply past it at that point?  Had the first fight ("AIN'T GONNA BE NO REMATCH!") taken too much out of him?  Not really...he really whipped up on Rocky most of that fight, and only lost because of a lucky punch at the end.  The reality is this: Rocky was lucky to land in that period between the great heavyweights of the early 70s and the reality that was Larry Holmes.  That's why in the first montage of Rocky 3 he was able to beat all those tomato cans that Mickey set up him up to beat.  To sum up: Rocky wasn't a great fighter, just a really tough guy who a)got lucky to catch fat Apollo b)then got lucky to get Apollo at the end, be way behind on the cards and get a lucky punch in and c)finally got lucky to face tomato cans before Clubber Lang came along who, truth be told, was a much better fighter.

4)If Rocky was made today, he'd never get the chance.  Two days after the announcement, Outside the Lines would report that that Rocky beat up deadbeats and broke their thumbs and hung around with the mob.  Fight off.  Either that, or the story would have to be that he had spent time in jail and was now trying to be reformed and put his life back together.  The backstory would have to be totally different to fit in our times, and it would fundamentally change the story.  Rocky was too much a bum as he was to survive today.