Way back in my grad school days my aspiring preacher friends and I wondered who among our classmates was going to eventually be on 'The Circuit'. 'The Circuit' was slang for those preachers who seemed to be headlining every church lectureship program, who preached gospel meetings at all the big churches, and who seemed to be front and center on a who's-who list of Church of Christ preachers.
Almost a quarter-century later, The Circuit may well be dead. Few churches except the small and traditional do gospel meetings (having replaced them with parenting seminars or the like), lectureships are fading (sadly replaced by more independent programs like Polishing the Pulpit or Affirming the Faith seminars, which usually have taken a much more 'conservative' road than I have), and the famous speakers in our fellowship are now either evangelical authors (Max Lucado) or not even preachers (think of the Duck Dynasty clan).
I never really thought that I'd be one of those preachers to begin with, but after all these years I have come to realize that no way will I ever be famous outside of my small group of intimates. I almost never get invited to preach outside my home congregation, and when I do I never get asked back a second time. Sometimes I think about this, and while a part of me is slightly sad about it, I also am grateful for where I do preach and the ability to be home with my family as much as I am.
But again, why am I not one of Those Guys? All the time I see some churches still hold certain people up on pedestals, such as those churches who still have gospel meetings and invite people either a)I've never heard of or b)I don't really respect. Why not me? I mean, aren't I a solid preacher who knows what is true and has over the course of thousands of sermons somewhat honed his craft? I mean, I gotta be well past the 10,000 hour rule for having mastery over a craft (though, of course, preaching masters the preacher rather than vice versa...God is funny that way).
I suppose there are two ways to look at this. The first way would be the voice of arrogance...too many churches want the smiling white teeth, the well-groomed, the deep-voiced preacher...they're looking for all the wrong things! Or they want to be told what they want to hear, to hear the same sermons that they've always heard, to have the same affirmation of "we're right, and everybody else isn't" that seems to have characterized our movement. If that's the case, I tell myself, then I'm glad that I'm not on that circuit.
But the second way is probably a bit more honest. I am not much of a self-promoter...this isn't something I've ever really wanted to do, but it's likely important for building that resume. I'm introverted, have a hard time looking people in the eye, and my voice is irritating not only to me (it is!) but likely others. Sometimes my sermons aren't traditionally evangelistic but more of a Qoheleth-type search for truth (not this, not this, not this, but this), and while this is good for a long tenure at a church it's not a quick-and-to-the-point way that many like. And probably my greatest problem is that maybe I'm just not as good as I think I am. It takes a certain amount of smug arrogance to think that one is good enough to preach in the first place, and I have that...but likely it's a little bit misplaced. Maybe I'm at the right level, and God knows enough to keep me humble.
This summer I will have finished 22 years in full-time ministry, and 18 years preaching. I've loved this life, and will always be grateful to do this. It was not in my plans to do this back in the days we talked about The Circuit, but I'm still chugging along while a lot of those guys are now selling insurance or teaching middle school. I suppose God has a plan for me after all, and he can use me, even if my name will never be in lights.
